Afdal Rahendra
10 Tips and How to Educate a Wayward Child Without Being Scolded
In some cases, many parents want a jovial child and are obedient to parental advice. But there are many factors that cause this not easy to get, even to the point of making parents emotional in dealing with it. As a parent, of course, you can solve this problem just by getting angry. Because this can be fatal and cause the opposite in the child.
Educating a wayward child is certainly not an easy matter for many parents. Not even many parents apply the method of educating with anger in the face of wayward children. Unfortunately, this method is very bad even though it does show a good existence.
Therefore, here we will discuss how to educate a good child without scolding the child and using emotions.
Things That Cause Children to Be Wayward
Before knowing how to educate a wayward child, of course, we must first know what causes the child to be wayward. In some cases many things can be a provoking factor of a wayward child. Among these factors, there are those caused by parents. Here are the factors that cause children to become wayward:
1. Often Spoiled
Parents should not spoil their children too much, moreover, always give them what they want at will. Excessive pampering of the child will make the child feel that he can get what he wants. Instead of being an independent person, this will have a bad impact not only on his behavior, but also on his mentality.
2. Lack of Affection from Parents
Children will be more likely to be wayward when they lack the affection of their parents. This is due to the child who wants to seek attention from his parents. Therefore, it is important for parents to take a little time to pour out affection for their children.
3. Educating Children with Violence
This matter is very much encountered in parents today, forcing their children to learn beyond their abilities. At a very early age, children will find it easier to grasp the attitude of their parents. This is not very good for the child's mental development later. So it is strongly discouraged for parents to use violence in educating their children.
4. Enter the Wrong Playing Environment
The parent is obliged to supervise and recognize who are the people around his child. This is because the child's play environment will also affect changes in children's attitudes. It could be that the child has a wayward friend, this is what can later trigger a wayward attitude in the child
5. Giving Things That Are Not Yet in Time
The development of the times has caused many electronic items to distract the child. This requires parents to be able to turn back what they give to their children. For example, mobile phones. Currently, we can observe how rampant children who have played cellphones to play games until they forget the time. Things like this should and must be considered by parents so that children later do not fall into the wrong thing
6. Lack of Understanding of Religion
Religion is very important for the child, because religion will teach the child to a good. Therefore it is important to teach children the science of religion from an early age. Because at that time children are easier to remember what is recommended and will also imprint in their memory as a positive thing.
Ways to Educate a Wayward Child Without Being Scolded
There are several ways that can be done in educating a wayward child. Here are some ways to educate a wayward child:
1. Give Children Credit When Doing Good Actions
Praise is not just a word! Although it seems trivial, the praise from parents for children is a big thing.
When the child does something that the parents want, it never hurts if the parents give him credit. Praise the child if indeed praise is good and needs to be done so that there is motivation in the child to do more of it.
2. Showing a Good Example in front of the Child
Parents are the first school taken by children. Therefore, parents are expected to be able to set a good example in front of their children to imitate. But it is not just parents who must set a good example in front of children. All family members in the child's environment also play an important role in this matter.
Try to keep people in the child's environment from setting a bad example that the child can imitate. In order for this to be avoided, parents must go the extra mile in paying attention to and giving children advice on good deeds for them to imitate and those that are not.
3. Make a Rules Agreement with the Child
In educating children, rules are important and must be present. For this reason, make special rules that have previously been discussed first with children. These rules are aimed at teaching children discipline and consistency. Make this rule a means of limiting bad attitudes in the child.
In this rule, parents have a very important role because parents are the ones who will enforce the rules. Therefore, it is important for parents to be consistent in implementing this. Do not get into the habit of giving the child leeway because it will weaken the rule itself.
4. Stay Gentle With Your Child
Never overcome the delinquency of the child with emotions. Whatever mischief he makes, it would be nice to be given advice not in a snapped. People should avoid yelling or committing violence in any form, especially when doing this in public. This will greatly affect the child. Instead of making his attitude better, this will make him annoyed because he was humiliated in front of so many people and could even be traumatized.
How to educate a child by scolding him, yelling or doing something rude is very wrong. In educating children, parents should be able to show a gentle attitude both in terms of speech and behavior. Try to advise the child in a subtle way so that the child feels happy with the advice given.
In addition, also teach the child to apologize when he makes a mistake to others. Show all these things in a gentle way to the child. So that thus the child will feel the affection of his parents so that he will be more of an obedient person.
5. Implement a Reward and Punishment System
When your little one is really hard to manage, try to start implementing a reward and punishment system. In addition to trying to apply strict rules, parents can also try to give the child a reward or punishment to improve his discipline. The purpose of giving gifts and punishments is to train the child's self-discipline and sense of responsibility with what he has done.
In implementing the reward and punishment system, parents can discuss in advance with the child so that an agreement occurs. The penalties and rewards given are made as flexible as possible so that they can be applied based on the level of action performed. Thus the child will be too to always try to do his best to get the reward he wants.
Although the initial impression of this system is like an imposition. But this is good for training the seriousness of the child. But behind it all, parents must also give advice on every child's achievements. In addition, although in this system there are penalties, it is strictly not recommended for parents to carry out severe punishments to the child. Try to give the child a punishment that can create a deterrent effect. It is not a punishment that can injure the child or even damage his mentality.
6. Always Be Consistent in Your Attitude
Consciously or not, the child will always pay attention to what his parents are doing. Therefore, as a parent you must be able to maintain behavior in front of children.
As a parent try to always be consistent with the behavior shown to the child. Try to avoid fickle attitudes, especially in giving children a reprimand. Indeed, giving your little one tolerance is not a problem. But excessive tolerance will actually make the child more unruly. He will feel freer in breaking the rules so that slowly the agreed rules will be broken by him.
7. Don't Give the Child a bad label
Although children tend to be notoriously naughty, but as a parent, you should not occasionally give them a bad label to the child. For example, "bad boy, wayward, unruly and so on."
Giving bad labels to children will actually make children more naughty. Giving a child a bad label can make him feel that the naughty nature possessed is his character. So it will actually make him worse and don't want to change his character.
8. Listen to the Opinions and Wills of the Child
Maintaining communication with children is the most important thing to deal with a child's wayward attitude. Try to make two-way communication between children and parents, children feel free in expressing opinions. Thus parents can easily know what the child expects and wills.
However, communication between the child and the parent must certainly go both ways. If parents want their children to listen to you, then you must also be willing to listen to them first. The child can change when his opinion is not listened to and channeled properly
9. Do Not Force the Will Against the Child
Most parents feel that they have more to contribute to their children. So many parents impose their will on their children without giving their children the opportunity to try their own desires. There is indeed nothing wrong with the expectations of parents towards the child. But imposing the will on the child is also not a good thing.
The tendency of the coercive nature of the parents towards the child will actually trigger a rebellious attitude from the child. This is what can later become the forerunner of being wayward. Instead of forcing the child in asking him to do something. It would be nice for parents to actually try to give him restrictions and give orders in a good word.
For example, when asking a child to sleep but he is still playing cellphones. Instead of telling him with the word force, it is better to give him the option of "go to bed now and continue to play tomorrow or go to bed later and his cellphone is confiscated all day tomorrow". Thus the child will think even if it is only related to his own pleasure.
10. Understand how children think
The best way to deal with a wayward child is to try to understand his point of view and way of thinking. As a parent do you know what your child is feeling? Whether the child is stressed, afraid, or sad and so on
The more you know the child, the better you are at dealing with it. For example, when children do not want to do their homework. Instead of snapping at it, it would be nice to try to figure out in advance what caused this. It is possible that he had difficulties that made him lazy to do so.
This is where parents are important in understanding the child's way of thinking. That is so that parents are closer and know better what the child is going through so that they can act as well as possible.
Educating children is not easy, therefore it is important for parents to always learn in understanding their children. The more parents understand their children, the greater the chances of success in educating children, the chances of success in educating children.
